Wallflower Garden

Oct 21


Oct 20


Oct 19

The Fear of the Now and the Fear of the Future

The Fear of the Future first hit me when I was in Second Year of High School. My older sister was in her Junior year and was just about to take her college application tests. 

She had a lot going for herself: valedictorian of a huge public high school, newspaper writer, mathlete, etc. But her biggest problem was that she didn’t know which degree program to take… and she had to choose now. 

I really dislike the way we make our youth choose college courses. It’s very hard for 15-18 year-olds to determine what they want to do for the rest of their lives. But I digress.

In the end, my sister went off to get a Nursing degree, because our mother wanted her to become a doctor (she’s batting for a dynasty, heh). Fortunately, it turned out well. I think if she wasn’t suited for a medical degree, she wouldn’t be on her 5th year of med school by now.

So at second year high school, I listed down the professions that I would be able to aspire to. In hindsight, I was just looking for what would seem like a “cool” profession. I was also considering the degrees that my parents, both academically-oriented, would “allow” me to take. They would be paying for tuition after all.

I considered pre-med courses (to make some people happy). But I spent so much of my childhood in hospitals, both as patient and as outsider, that I think I got sick of the idea of working in one. I love art, so I considered courses in fine art and communications. But I wasn’t that confident of my skills. 

And so I chose Architecture. It’s science and art and humanities all in one package. I read up on it, I would look at pictures and books and magazines, and I told myself “you could do that too” (of course I didn’t think about the technical and social aspects, but that’s for another post).

When 3rd year came, I chose my course, and the Fear of the Future subsided.

Now I can feel that Fear creeping up to me once more. A lot of people have been asking me for my plans: parents, bosses, friends… I think they are expecting me to have a plan already, because I always seemed to be making them, asking for itineraries, looking for schedules, creating a budget. 

Right now my plan is to go on with my work and pass the Board exams. But after that, I’ve got nothing. I tell myself that I am open to anything: getting a Masters Degree, working in corporate, working in design, working abroad, working for myself, blahblahblah.

This lack of planning excites me. But since for the first time, there is no plan, the Fear of the Future is also my Fear of the Now.

Sep 23


Sep 14

Anonymous said: You have a bf?

uuhhh, no…?

Dear UP Pep Squad,

I hope you are not too heartbroken by your defeat, if you can even call it that.

We UP non-athletes can never know how much effort, time, and sacrifice it takes to become as good as you. But we see it in every toss, every backflip, and every pyramid that you guys execute.

We also saw the disappointment in your faces when we lost to NU (who put on a good show). 

For us, the UP community, you guys are the real winners. I’m not just saying this as an “aww-it’s-ok-there’s-always-next-year” statement. I’m saying this as someone who sees your bold effort of including activism into your routine.

A lot of people from the rival schools are making fun of you for bringing the LGBT and Women’s advocacy into cheer dance. I’ve read the tweets saying "cheerdance ito, hindi rally". But really, apart from you guys, who else can do that? 

Because of you, each Filipino who watches the show (and the unavoidable YouTube uploads) will see that the State University advocates equality.

The LGBT community in the Philippines will find strength in the fact that the premier university respects them enough to include their cause in their cheer dance routine.

Most importantly, the kids who watch the show will be empowered with the knowledge that girls can lift boys and manly boys can dance to Beyonce. 

Your routine was unique, difficult, and significant. It passes on a message, and unlike the other routines, it will be talked about until next year and beyond.

NU may have won the title (deservedly so), but for every person who got your message, you still win.

Sep 08


Aug 27

Signs that prove your office is actually a house

1. It has windows

2. It has a garden (which you planted flowers on)

3. It has a bed (that your boss brought in so you can pull “all-nighters”)

4. You can walk around barefoot (or sock-slide around)

5. Everyone has brought in their own tsinelas.

6. Your bosses tend to switch to pambahay once 8PM starts

7. You can smell your neighbor’s cooking

8. Everyone outside walks around in shorts and slippers

9. You catch your neighbor doing laundry outside

10. You can comfortably poop in the bathroom.

Aug 17

Picture Window

Picture Window



05 August 2014

05 August 2014


Jul 29


Jul 20

Because this needs to be posted.
At Fort Santiago with Topy.

Because this needs to be posted.

At Fort Santiago with Topy.